


Deepest Desires

by Supermansqueen15



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Dom/sub Undertones, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:42:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25983046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Supermansqueen15/pseuds/Supermansqueen15
Summary: Liam can't figure out why everyone expects him to keep the other boys out of trouble. Zayn wants to help Liam be less stressed. Together they discover that they both want the same things that they thought they couldn't have.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter 1  Liam

**Author's Note:**

> I envisioned young Liam here

Chapter 1

Liam

“We expect better from you boys.” The voice of someone on our management team hisses into my ear. I sigh, closing my eyes and wishing the voice on the other end of the phone line would leave me alone. I don't even know if it’s Suzanne or Amelia. Honestly, I could care less which woman it is, they are both equally awful. Both women morph into a ferocious monster in the vision inside my head. Her sharp shrill voice haunts me every day. She haunts me even in my dreams. “This won't reflect very good on you if word gets out.”

“I'm not the one doing anything!” I snap, rage flowing through me.“Why are you always calling me when shit happens?” I clench my fists and let my nails dig in to the skin of my palms, the pain grounding me. I don't even know what the boys are doing other than wreaking havoc like usual. We’re all in hot water after getting kicked out of our hotel last week. Now management wants me to get them to behave. It isn’t my job to babysit my friends. Isn’t that Paul’s job? Why does it always have to fall to me.

“Language, Mr. Payne. And you are held to a higher standard.” She says, “Now, get your friends under control or you will all suffer the consequences.” The call disconnects before I can argue with her.

Why is everything always my responsibility? Everyone keeps putting so much pressure on me. One of these days it’s going to be too much. I can feel the tingling sensation beginning and and I rub at the back of my neck trying to head it off before the feeling puts me even more on edge. Sighing, I stand up from the hotel bed and walk across the room. Opening the mini fridge, I scan the tiny bottles of alcohol lining the top shelf. Eyeing the whiskey, I unscrew the cap and swallow the amber liquid, relishing the burn as it slides down my throat. I just need to take the edge off. I sink down to the floor, unlocking my cell phone and pulling up our group chat.

 ** _Come to my room, ASAP_**. I type out. At least if they're in here, they're not causing trouble out there. I lean back against the cool wood of the cabinet and wait. Sure enough, there is a knock at the door about ten minutes later. I pull myself to my feet and walk the fifteen feet to the door. Pulling it open, I let Niall and Harry inside. I don’t even say anything, I just step back and let them walk in. Niall is laughing at the joke Harry just told. I wonder if he knows he’s not as funny as he thinks he is. Well, I take that back. Sometimes he’s hilarious. But sometimes he’s not and we just humor him.

I turn around and walk back to sink down on the couch. I see the look that Niall and Harry exchange before joining me. I ignore them. No use getting into it until everyone’s here. I am not giving this lecture twice. Niall turns on the TV, scrolling until he finds a station playing a golf tournament. I don't even have the energy to roll my eyes.

“Hey, are you okay?” Harry asks softly, reaching over to tuck a hair behind my ear that had fallen in my face. I pull away. The last thing I need is Louis breathing down my neck for being all handsy with Harry. I tell myself that’s the reason but in reality, I can’t start talking right now or I might actually cry. I am most definitely not going to cry in front of them. I am saved from having to answer when someone begins pounding at the door. Harry answers the door. Zayn and Louis come barreling into the already small space. They are laughing over something and it makes my blood boil. Why do they get to have fun when I am the one getting yelled at? It’s not fair!

I ignore the chaos of the boys all around me as I lose myself in my thoughts. I cradle my head in my hands. This was getting to be too much. I hadn’t signed on to have to boss everyone around. I wanted to be one of the boys, not their babysitter. I wanted them to like me, to be my friend, not resent me for always being the one management sent to harp on them. I rake my fingers through my hair, relishing in the feeling of them tugging when a knot catches on my fingers. I feel hands on my thighs and look up in surprise. I see Zayn, squatting down in front of me. Zayn looks up at me, looking into my eyes. There is a look of deep concern evident in his features. This floors me for a moment, before I realize the silence surrounding us. I look around the room but everyone else is gone. It’s just me and Zayn.

“Where’d everyone go?” I ask, turning my focus back to Zayn, who was still kneeling in front of me. His eyes are gentle right now and I realize that I don't get to see this look too often.

“To hang out in Louis’ room. I thought you might need some space.” Zayn says, pushing down on my thighs to stand back up. He sits down beside me on the couch, turning to face me. “Want to tell me what’s going through your head?” I shrug. I bite my lip and look away. I always feel like Zayn can read me like an open book. I can’t meet his eyes. Zayn is only eight months older than me but sometimes I feel like the age gap is more. Zayn is always so mature and composed. He never lets anything get to him. I wish I could be more like that.

“Leeyum,” Zayn says, in the way that only he can. He meets my eyes, giving me a cheeky grin which causes me to crack a smile. I don't know if I’ll ever be able to admit how being around Zayn makes me feel better.

“I’ll be fine, Zee.” I say softly. I’m not sure whether I’m trying to convince Zayn or myself. Zayn looks like he is going to argue with me but eventually thinks better of it. He grabs the remote, turning the tv to some channel playing a movie. I don't really know how I go from leaning on the arm of the couch to curling up next to Zayn, but it happens and I just roll with it. I don't want to think about how comfortable it is to have Zayn’s arm wrapped around me. I shouldn’t be having these thoughts about my bandmate and friend. They are going to think I'm weird. I let out a deep breath, sinking into Zayn’s side and try to focus on the movie.


	2. Chapter 2  Zayn

Chapter 2 

Zayn

“Come on, Li, it’ll be fun.” Louis says, grinning at Liam like the Cheshire cat. Liam looks around the green room and I watch the debate happen inside Liam’s head. The boy wears his heart on his sleeve and I don't even know if he knows it. It is easy to know what he is thinking. He looks so fucking adorable with his forehead wrinkled in concentration. Niall is grinning wildly, already excited about whatever prank him and Louis have cooked up. I wanted Louis to include Liam. Maybe if he felt like he was a part of it, he wouldn't feel the need to listen to everything management is shoving down his throat. I can see the tole it is taking on him. Liam was letting them put so much pressure on him, he was bound to break eventually. I knew one way I could help him deal with the stress, but I just am not sure if Liam would ever go for it. Liam was a goody-goody in every sense of the word. He was always worried about doing the right thing and getting into trouble was not ever something he’d be okay with. I shake my head, pulling myself from my thoughts. I need to stop thinking about it, he’d never agree. Fantasizing about it won't help either of us so I need to just focus on what’s right in front of me.

“Won’t Paul be mad?” Liam asks nervously, and I have to fight to keep the fond look off my face. Could Liam be any cuter? I school my features, making sure that no one sees how much he’s affecting me.

“Paul won't kill us. Come on, it’ll be a good laugh.” Niall says, rolling his eyes. He leans his shoulder into Liam’s trying to get him to lighten up. Zayn laughs, watching as Liam bites his lip as he thinks about it, most likely weighing the pros and cons.

“I think I’ll just stay here.” Liam says softly and I can tell that he doesn’t want to be left out. I’d be willing to bet he’s just worried about getting in trouble.

“Nope.” I say, walking over and grabbing Zayn by the elbow. “We’re coming, Lou.”

Louis grins, high giving Harry. Niall leads the way down the hallway of the arena. Liam opens his mouth but I flash him a look that has him closing his mouth. I see the way his eyes dilate as he takes in my silent command. Hmm, that was interesting. I file that little tidbit of information away until I can think about it later. I’ve known Liam is a people pleaser but I hadn’t really thought about it too much until now.

Louis decides that Liam and I are in charge of distracting Paul. Normally he’d have sent Harry and Liam but I’m guessing Louis has noticed how Liam tends to listen to me more so than the rest of the boys. Either that or he just wants Harry with him. I am actually quite impressed with how well Liam handles lying once I have given him the words to say. I hadn’t seen that one coming. Overall, I’m happy that Liam participated in the prank for once instead of lecturing us about it. Now the hard part is going to be keeping him from melting down when management throws a fit about the mess Louis, Harry, and Niall most likely just made.

“You were great, mate.” I say, clapping Liam on the back as we walk back to the dressing rooms. Liam’s face lights up at the praise and it hits me then, like a ton of bricks. That’s why he does what he does. He wants to please. He wants to be accepted. He thrives on the praise. That explains so much. Does he know how perfect he is? His fucking gorgeous brown eyes are full of innocence and an eagerness to please that would have any Dom ready to unravel at the seams.

“It was sort of fun.” Liam says, biting at his lip again. God, I am going to have to break him of that habit or else it was going to give away all my hidden thoughts. How many times a day do I have to tell myself that he’s straight. He’d never go for someone like me.

“I'm glad you had fun. Really, you were great, we couldn't have pulled it off without you.” I watch the effect that my words have on him. I smirk. Now, that I know the driving force behind a huge part of Liam’s personality things would be much easier. I can help keep him happy now.

Our good mood is short lived as we turn the corner and come face to face with a very pissed off looking Paul. Uh-oh. Well, time to face the music.

“I expected more from you.” He says sharply, glaring at both of us. “Especially you, Liam.” I watch as Liam’s face falls and it pisses me off. I hate that they are playing on his personality by guilt tripping him. “You have thirty minutes to get that room cleaned up or you’re all going to regret it. Playing pranks on me. This has gone too far this week.”

The sag in Liam’s shoulders is breaking my heart. I watch as Paul’s obligatory lecture tears Liam down far more than it should. I wonder why I haven't seen it before. It’s so clear to me now, Liam’s demeanor, his personality. It all just makes me want to help him explore his limits.

“Paul, come on.” I say, breaking off Paul’s rant. “You know we were just fucking around. Plus, Lima and I didn't even do anything.” I say coyly and Paul chuckles and rolls his eyes. He doesn't believe that for a second.

“I was born on a Monday, kid. But it wasn’t last Monday. I know you two were the diversion.” Paul says and I shrug. I hope that Liam can see Paul isn’t really mad, but a quick glance at him tells me he’s already lost in his own self-deprecating thoughts. I can think of several ways to pull him out of his thoughts but none of them I have consent for so I’ll have to try to talk him through it.

“Come on, Leeyum. Let’s go help the boys clean up.” I say, wrapping an arm around Liam’s back and turning him around. We walk down the hallway until Paul has disappeared. As soon as I know we’re in the clear, I roll my eyes and pull Liam into an empty dressing room.

“Where is the mess?” Liam asks, looking around in confusion. I can't help it, I roll his eyes again.

“Obviously not in here.” I say, my tone dripping in sarcasm.

“I thought…but Paul said…” Liam says, still looking around the room. I close the gap between us and place my hands on Liam’s cheeks. He is deep in his thoughts and I know 99% of them can't be anything helpful right now.

“Take a deep breath and get out of your head.” I say, refusing to let go until Liam meets my eyes. It takes a minute but he finally meets my gaze. Once he does, I nod and drop my hands. “Now, don't let it get to you. Nothing’s gonna happen.”

“You don't know that.” Liam says skeptically. He looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. Well, with the thoughts running rampant in my own head I just might have.

“You’re right, I don’t. But just ignore him, okay?” I say, “We had fun, we’re teenage boys, they expect it at this point, honestly.”

“Okay,” Liam says hesitantly and I can tell he really doesn't believe me.

___________________________________________

We are putting our in-ears in when I overhear one of the management team lecturing Liam. Why does he put up with that? I watch from across the room as Liam’s face falls. It kills me to see them ripping him apart. Why aren’t they yelling at me or Louis? It’s always Liam or Harry. Even Niall can hold his own with them, his sass can rival Louis’ at times. I walk over, catching the tail end of the conversation. From the little bit I hear I don't like this one bit. 

“You okay?” I ask Liam, purposely ignoring Suzanne. She’s a bitch and I can't stand her. I know why Simon assigned her to us and I wish there was a way I could pay him back for this _kindness_.

“I’m fine.” Liam says, refusing to look at me. I watch as he turns around and walks away. I can see the cracks in his armor and I know I need to do something otherwise they are going to break him. And I will be damned if I’m going to let that happen.

We are on stage about half way through the show and I can see that Liam is overthinking everything. My intention was to distract him from his thoughts. I just wanted him to relax and have fun messing around with the rest of us. I don’t even know what possesses me to do it but before I know it I’m walking by him and my hand acts all on it’s own. I just reach out to playfully slap Liam’s ass. I expect a reaction, I just hadn’t been expecting the one I got. I had honestly expected Liam to gape at me indignantly in which case I would have grinned like a fool and walked over to mess with Louis or even possibly laugh it off. But as I continue singing my solo I watch with fascination as Liam’s face flushes a deep shade of red. I hadn’t expected Liam to react so viscerally. I can see how his entire body is heating up and I smirk at him. Making sure when I walk by him a few minutes later to do so close enough to hear the hitch of Liam’s breath as I invade his space. If he only knew what he did to me.

Harry takes over talking to the crowd as we all gulp water from nearby water bottles. I watch as Liam fights to control his emotions. Oh, this tour just got so much more interesting.


	3. Chapter 3  Liam

Chapter 3

Liam

The moment we are off stage, I rush to the dressing room. My head is a mess with the thoughts running around inside it. I can’t believe Zayn spanked me on stage! Actually I can, it’s totally something he’d do. What I can't believe is how much it effected me. It wasn’t even a hard slap, I barely even felt it, but I can't stop thinking about the way my body reacted. A fire curled deep in my core and I couldn't stop thinking about what it would feel like if I could have felt it more. Then I imagined his hands on my ass and that made my brain erupt in thoughts that I definitely shouldn’t be thinking about. As soon as I realized this, I was embarrassed. That was crazy, I shouldn’t be thinking about Zayn like this. I know he was watching me for the second half of the show. I could feel his eyes on me like a laser burning into my skin. A small part of me was annoyed, but it makes me nervous that a bigger part of me liked it. I liked knowing I had his attention. I liked knowing he was thinking about me. Is that silly? Why would he want to think about me?

I lean my hands down on the counter, staring at myself in the mirror. I looked goofy, there’s no way someone as gorgeous as Zayn Malik would ever look at me the way that Louis and Harry look at each other. That’s wishful thinking, that is. I shake my head, my in-ears dangling and bouncing around. I stand upright, pulling the cord from behind my neck, disentangling them.

I jump when someone knocks at the door. I need to calm down. I can’t believe one little playful slap has me all worked up. I need to get a hold of myself.

“You good, mate?” Zayn asks, walking in and closing the door behind him. I freeze. He’s going to be able to know I'm thinking things I shouldn’t be. I can't face him right now, not with my mind running wild. I nod but then I shake my head and he gives me that look. The one where he’s trying not to laugh but he’s also confused at the same time. Why does that one look seem to shock every nerve ending in my body at once? I bite my lip, scrambling for something to say. He smirks, walking over to me and pulling me into a hug. Why is he hugging me? I’m all sweaty and I know I stink. He shouldn’t be near me right now. I feel like my body is on fire from blushing and I push him away.

“Li?” He asks, frowning at me. I open my mouth to explain but nothing comes out. He reaches up and places a hand against my chest, almost over my heart. Can he hear how fast my heart is beating? My teeth sink into my lower lip, biting back the sound that almost escapes. Oh, God. That would have been so bad. I need to get out of here. I am so embarrassed and I can't even think with him this close.

“Liam, breathe.” His voice is close and commanding and I open my eyes. His hands are on my shoulders, his grip firm and in control. He makes me want to melt and I almost feel the need to cry at the desire to sink into him. The stress is overwhelming, so many emotions and feelings bottled up for so long are boiling under the surface and threatening to escape.

I meet his gaze and somehow that makes everything better. I sure as heck don't know how, because he hasn't said anything other than telling me to breathe. I take a few deep breaths focusing on the pretty flakes in the golden brown of his eyes. He smiles, then, as though me breathing pleases him. That’s ridiculous. I shake my head, looking away. I need to get a grip, I feel like I'm losing my mind.

“Come on, we have a hotel night. Let’s share a room and watch a movie. How does that sound?” Zayn asks. I nod my head, too afraid of what might come out if I open my mouth to speak. I let Zayn lead me to where the SUV is waiting to take us to the hotel. I sit beside him in the third row, listening as him and Louis laugh about something they did early in the show and the crowd’s reaction. I study how easily Harry melts into Louis’ side. Even though Louis and Zayn are deep in a hearty conversation Louis has an arm around Harry, snugly pulling him into his arms. It makes me envious, I realize with a start. I want what Harry has. I want to feel loved and safe and protected. Louis does that for him. I don't want Louis, secretly, he sort of terrifies me, but I’d like to have that with someone someday.

When we get out of the car, I’m so lost in my thoughts that I don't see the curb. I trip over it. I would have ended up face down on the concrete had it not been for Zayn. His arm around my waist and a hand on my arm, keeps me upright.I blink up at him after I’ve regained my balance. He gives a small nod and leads me to the elevator. I can feel his hand on my waist, the feeling searing my skin even through the thin cotton tee shirt. As we all ride up to the eighteenth floor, Paul hands out the keys. When Zayn reaches out and takes both of our keys Paul is handing to the two of us he eyes him warily.

“Move night.” Zayn says, rolling his eyes at Paul. I shrug when Paul shifts his gaze to me, still unable to find my voice. I pray that Paul doesn’t push any further. He must decide he doesn't really care because he doesn't say anything else as Zayn pulls me down the hallway and into a hotel room.

“Go shower.” Zayn says, once we are in the room. He sets both of our bags on the desk and points to the bathroom. I open my mouth to ask him what we’re doing. Is he really just going to hang out and expect us to watch a movie. After everything that’s happened tonight? But maybe it’s not that big of a deal to him. Maybe he was just playing around on stage like always and I'm making a big deal out of nothing. I open my mouth to ask him but he speaks before I can find the words. “Shower first, then we’ll talk.” He says, pointing again to the bathroom. I nod, following his directions. It’s easier to listen to him than try to argue with him. I don't even want to argue with him, I know I need a shower. I like it when I don't have to think, I just focus on doing what I'm told. It’s easy to just follow directions when I have five million other things to worry about.

“I’ll be right back.” Zayn calls to me as soon as I’ve shut the bathroom door. I turn on the water, waiting until the temperature is just right before I step under the stream of hot water. I let my mind wander as I wash off, processing the events of the past few days. It’s like a switch has been flipped and suddenly I am noticing Zayn everywhere. Anytime he’s around it’s like he’s all I can focus on. He is driving me crazy. It’s a good all consuming crazy. When I walk out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my middle I jump when I find Zayn laying on the bed in just a pair of pajama pants. I stare at the few tattoos he has so far and wonder what it would be like to get one of my own. I think I could be brave enough to do that someday. Maybe that would make me cool.

I realize that I'm staring and scantly clad in only a towel when Zayn smirks and raises an eyebrow at me. I flush a deep shade of red, embarrassed that I was staring, even more so that he caught me doing it. I walk over to my bag, grabbing pajama pants and a tee shirt of my own before going back in the bathroom to get dressed.

I try to get my face back to a normal color before leaving the bathroom. Maybe I can pretend it is from the steam? Zayn has _The Dark Knight_ pulled up on the screen ready to play. I love this movie. It makes me wonder what else Zayn knows about me.

He pats the bed beside him, and I sink down onto the soft surface, trying to not make a big deal about this. We’ve watched movies together dozens of times. It shouldn’t be a big deal. Sometimes all five of us pile onto the bed to watch a movie so this shouldn’t be making my heart race. But somehow, it seems different. Maybe not to Zayn, but to me it is. I am hyperaware of his presence and I don't know if I like how much it’s rattling me.

At some point I go from laying on my own pillow to laying on his pillow. I don't know how it happened but his arm ends up behind me and then next thing I know I'm laying right up against his side. I can feel his heart beating under my ear and it’s making a heat curl deep in my stomach. When his arm wraps around me I sigh, the feeling so comforting I don't even realize what I'm implying.

We watch the movie, cuddled together in the semi darkness. I can't even pay attention to what’s on the screen. All I can focus on is the feeling of Zayn’s body touching mine. His skin is soft under my cheek and I bite back a smile. I can't believe the thoughts I'm thinking right now. I bet Zayn would think I was crazy if he knew how much he was affecting me right now. I give myself a stern internal lecture about hiding how I feel. I have to. I can’t lose him, he’s my best friend.

When the credits begin scrolling across the screen, I want to cry. I don't want to move. I don't want to get up. I don't want to give up this feeling. I lose all train of thought when Zayn’s fingers reach up and run through my hair. I moan, involuntarily and then sit up, clasping a hand over my mouth.

“I’m sorry! I… uh… I’m” My brain whirls, scrambling to come up with something, anything to explain my very un bro like actions. I jump up off the bed, looking around for somewhere, anywhere to hide. I reach up, raking a hand through my own hair. I repeat the motion, tugging this time, needing something to ground me so I can think.

“I’ll just…uh…go…” I stammer, biting back the tears threatening to escape.

“Liam.” Zayn says, trying to get my attention. I can't look at him. I can't bear to see the the disappointment in his eyes. I'm afraid of the disgust I might see there so I look away. When he steps in front of me I back up, squeezing my eyes shut. They open when he takes my wrist in his hand, removing my hand from my hair. I hadn’t even realized I was still pulling at it.

“Liam.” He repeats, softer this time. My back is against the wall, my eyes downcast, my bottom lip ready to bleed where it’s bitten between my teeth. “Liam, look at me, please.” He asks.

It’s the use of please that does it. His voice is husky and thick. Not angry like I expected. I take a deep breath, slowly lifting my eyes off the floor. I look at his lean legs in the batman pajama pants up to where they hug his hips. They sit low, the sight of his navel doing things to me too embarrassing to even put into words. I pull my eyes up his chest, dark and tan with faint traces of muscle. I find his chin, and almost self combust at the thought of what he might look like with stubble lining that jaw someday. Finally I find his eyes. I am shocked at what I see. I had been prepared for distain, but instead I see pure lust. I see desire and want and need and longing all wrapped up in his brown eyes. I see all of the things I imagine he’d see if he caught me looking at him in my fantasies.


	4. Chapter 4     Zayn

Chapter 4 

Zayn

When Liam finally meets my gaze, I resist the urge to smirk. His pupils are almost completely blown. He’s more turned on than I’ve ever seen him. I wonder if he realizes how fucking amazing he looks right now or how much I want to tear him apart inch by beautiful inch. I take the wrist that’s still nestled in my hand and lift it up slowly, pinning it gently to the wall above his head. I watch his face, looking for any sign or hint that he’s uncomfortable. When he lets out a soft moan, it ricochets straight through me.

“Tell me if you want me to stop.” I say, forcing the words out when all I want to do is kiss him.

“Don’t.” He whispers and the words are a quick dose of reality. I deflate. I immediately let go of his wrist and take a step back. I watch as it falls to his side. I would never do anything to make him uncomfortable. No matter how much I want this if he doesn’t, well, than I won’t. He looks up at me in confusion, hurt evident on his features. “I meant don't stop.” He mumbles, looking down. My heart rejoices at his clarification.

“Oh,” I say, grinning sheepishly. He takes a ragged breath. He seems to be debating about something so I give him a moment to gather his thoughts. I am shocked at what he does next. You could have pushed me over with a leaf when Liam looks up at me shyly and holds out both of his hands to me. He bites his lip, clearly nervous and my jaw drops. It takes me only a few seconds to pull myself together and I smile at him.

I take both of his wrists in my hand, crossing them slightly and lifting them above our heads. I press them gently against the wall. The look on his face is one I never thought I’d actually be blessed enough to see outside of my dreams.

“I’m going to kiss you now.” I say, watching as he nods, biting his lip. I swallow the growl that wants to come out and press my lips to his, pulling his bottom lip between my own teeth. I explore his mouth. It doesn't surprise me how right this feels. I’ve been dreaming of this moment for the past several months. I use the hand that’s not holding his wrists to press against his chest. I try not to let it go to my head when I hear him moan. I can feel myself hardening as the kiss grows in intensity.

I force myself to pull away, stepping back and letting go of him. I have to stop before I can’t. I want to cherish every second of this, not rush things.His arms fall to his sides and he leans against the wall, eyes half lidded with a fresh flush to his face and neck. I smirk at how fantastic he looks like this.

“Come ‘ere.” I say gently, pulling him to me and leading him over to the bed. I can tell he’s worn out. The exhaustion from being on edge all day is taking a toll on him. I lay down, pulling him into my arms. I nestle his head on my chest and run my fingers through his hair. How many times have I had to watch Louis running his hands through Harry’s hair and dreamt of doing this same thing to Liam? Way too many times to count. But here he is in my arms, still high from our first kiss and I can do exactly that.

I’m not surprised when he falls asleep. I can tell he was tired before that heated exchange. I know I should sleep but I can't help but stay awake just watching the rise and fall of his chest. I can't stop running my fingers through his hair. Now that I can, I want to more than I have ever wanted to before. I close my eyes, falling asleep with a smile on my face.

When I wake up I feel Liam’s hands rubbing my cheeks. “Zaynie…Zayn…Time to wake up.” It’s a soft murmur, a sweet voice that I hope I am privileged enough to get to hear more of in the future. It’s no secret I hate mornings. I’d sleep till afternoon if they’d let me.

“Ugh. ‘m awake.” I mumble, rolling over and wrapping my arms around his waist. “Tell me it wasn’t a dream.” I say. I smirk when I hear his voice hitch. Nope, definitely wasn’t a dream. I sit up, enjoying the flush invading his skin and wonder if it will always be so much fun to make him blush like that.

“It wasn’t a dream.” Liam whispers. “It would have been a pretty good one, if it was though.” He adds sheepishly a huge grin on his face. I can't help but laugh. I reach over and tickle him. He squirms to get out of my grasp, laughing and clutching his sides. It only takes a minute to roll him over and lean over top of him. He looks up wide-eyed and so god damn innocent that it takes my breath away. He looks up at me with the expression that he has reserved only for me. I hope I never do anything to lose that precious way he looks at me.

“Zayn?” Liam whispers, my name coming out like a question. “Would you kiss me again?” He asks. That one question, so sincere and simple, causes a wave of emotion.

I lean down, and kiss him. Soft, slow, and gentle. Everything the kiss last night was not. I pull back and barely contain a growl when someone begins pounding on the door.

“Five minutes. Let’s go, boys!” Paul yells through the closed doorway.

Liam fucking starts giggling. I swear he’s going to end up being the death of me. I look at him, flashing him a smirk and roll my eyes as I climb out of the bed and stand up. I reach out a hand to him. He takes it, keeping eye contact with me the whole time as I pull him to his feet and wrap him up in my arms.

“We should talk about this.” I say, as he nestles his face in my neck. He shrugs.

“Just wanna enjoy it.” He mumbles and I smile.

“I know. We’ll talk later on the bus when we can get away from everyone else.” I say, “Right now we gotta go before Paul drags us both onto the bus.”


	5. Chapter 5 Liam

It’s calm on the bus. I know that this calm will be nothing but a memory once we get to the next city. Once we get there, we have three interviews scheduled this afternoon, a session with our vocal coach, and a meet and greet this evening. We don't have a show tonight, a rare evening off before a very crazy few days of interviews, back to back shows, and overnight traveling. Which means that tonight we should enjoy our hotel night because it will be a bunk on the bus for the next few nights.

The next city is three hours away. Louis and Niall demand a FIFA tournament and controllers are passed out in the media lounge on the bus. The play station only has four controllers and Niall looks around the room.

“I don't mind watching.” I volunteer. I nod as Harry gives me a thankful smile. It was either him or me and I would much rather him get to play.

The game begins, Louis quickly getting heated and bantering with everyone else. I watch Zayn as he leans back calm cool and collected as though nothing bothers him. I don't know how he does it. I could never be so relaxed. There’s always something to worry about. At some point the game gets paused so everyone can raid the cabinets in the kitchenette for snacks. I make my way to the couch in the front of the bus, sitting down with my legs tucked up underneath me, I face the windows. I watch as the trees fly by outside, resting my chin on the back of the couch.

“What are you thinking about?” Zayn asks, sitting down beside me. He rests a hand on my leg as I turn to face him.

“Nothing.” I say. “Where’s everyone else?”

“Playing footie.” Zayn says with a shrug. “I thought I’d spend some time with you.”

“Oh. Okay.” I say, at a loss for what to say to that. Playing FIFA was more fun than sitting here with me. I'm pretty boring most of the time.

“Here.” Zayn says, handing me a sandwich. I shake my head.

“I'm not hungry.” I say.

“Liam, you haven’t eaten anything since lunch yesterday.” Zayn says, shaking his head.

“I’m fine, Zee.” I say, ignoring the rumble of my stomach. I don't know why I haven't been feeling up to eating much lately. I just don't want to.

“That’s great, but you’re still going to eat the sandwich.” Zayn says so cavalierly that I gape at him. I narrow my eyes at him before looking at the small bite he holds in his hand. I open my mouth to argue with him.

“I don't like mayonnaise.” I say, knowing he puts mayo on his sandwiches. I hold up a hand to refuse the bite. “You can eat your sandwich, Zayn. I'm fine, really.”

“It doesn't have mayo on it, Li. I made it for you. Like I’d ever forget your weird hatred for that condiment.” Zayn says with a smirk, pushing the small bite into my hand. I stare at him and then look down at the food in my hand. Why is he pushing this so much? Why does he even care whether I eat or not? I shove the bite into my mouth and turn back to look out the window. I expect him to push more. I'm just waiting for him to make me eat the rest of it, but he doesn’t. I watch the cars go by, wizzing past the window, as I lean my chin on the back of the couch again.

It’s quiet for a few minutes. I wonder if Zayn has somehow gotten up and left without me noticing. My breath catches in my throat when I feel his hand start rubbing my back. Everything just feels so overwhelming right now. I don't know how much longer I can keep from cracking.

The conversation with management last night keeps running through my head. Suzanne’s words wreak havoc in my mind. The threats and insinuations of impending punishments hang over my head. Why is it always me? It’s going to be my fault when the band falls apart.

Zayn pulls me toward him. I’m sitting sideways and I feel him reach around me until his arm is laying across my chest. When he pulls me back against his chest, I sink back into his arms before I can stop myself. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, relaxing into the embrace. The calm washes over me and I wish it could always be this easy.

“What’s on your mind?” Zayn asks, shifting a little to settle us on the couch. 

I shrug, not really capable of putting everything into words. I try to catch the thoughts, each one escaping like a vapor before the words can form on my tongue. I don't even know where to start. Everything is just too much. There’s so much stress and so much pressure. I don't know if I can handle it all.

“Match my breathing.” Zayn whispers in my ear. I try to pause my thoughts so I can focus on the rise and fall of his chest but I can’t. I clench the fabric of my tee shirt in my fists. He asks me to do one simple thing and I can't even do that! I'm failing at everything. I don't even realize he’s wrapped his hand around my wrists until I go to pull on my shirt and find that my hands won't move. My brain does pause then, scrambling to figure out why my hands aren’t tearing at my shirt like I told them to. Sometimes, when it feels like there something crawling underneath my skin, I pull at my shirt in order to distract myself. I also work out way too much, but that’s not really an option on a moving bus.

“Fight it, if you need to. Match my breathing, Li.” Zayn repeats as I tug on my wrist again. The hold he has on me is working to calm my racing thoughts. For the first time in weeks, my brain is still. I wiggle a little to see if he will let go. He lets me as he sits behind me with me in the V of his legs, my back to his chest with his arms around me. Finally, I let my head fall back against his shoulder and take a deep breath.

“Good boy, Liam.” He whispers. I wonder if he knows the feeling of pleasure that washes over me at his words. “Now, match my breathing.” I listen this time. Sufficiently tired out from my attempts to free my wrists from his grasp. I know with a shocking sense of certainty that if I asked him to let go he would. But somewhere deep down inside, I don't want to even consider that as an option. Last night was the first time I felt free since all of this began. Last night, when Zayn took control of my panicking brain and managed to calm me down, I slept through the night. I haven't slept through the night in months.

I don't know how long we sit there like that before Zayn begins to sing. It’s soft, not loud enough to draw the attention of the other boys. I close my eyes, continuing to take deep breaths. I let the silkiness of his voice wrap around me like a blanket.


	6. Chapter 6 Zayn

Chapter 6

Zayn 

I’m expecting it when Louis appears in the doorway of the bunk area. It’s been a while since they started the second game and I'm sure we’ll be arriving soon. His face softens as he sees Liam sound asleep in my arms. It had taken far less time than I thought it would for him to let go. I was fully prepared for him to fight it but he had almost seemed relieved when I held him down. I honestly think he wants to let go, he just doesn't know how. When cuddling him hadn’t worked, I held his wrists still and let him wiggle out some of his nervous energy.I have seen how he pulls at his shirt when he gets upset. After only a few minutes, he relaxed. I was relieved as I watched the tension melt from him as he finally relaxed into my embrace. It hadn’t taken long to get him to sleep after that. I hadn’t even made it through a single song before the soft snores were harmonizing with my words.

“How is he?” Louis asks, perching on the arm of the couch and nodding down at Liam. His head is turned sideways, his forehead resting against my chin.

“He’ll be okay.” I say, because saying he’s fine would be a lie.

“I know he will.” Louis says, smiling and standing back up.

“How are you so sure?” I ask, raising an eyebrow at him. I know why I'm confident but I have no idea why he is.

“Because he’s got you, Zayn.” Louis smiles at me, patting me on the shoulder before grabbing a water bottle out of the fridge. “Paul texted, we’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

I take one hand and slowly run my fingers through Liam’s hair. Softly, whispering nonsense to him until I can feel him start to stir. He tilts his head up, looking up at me and blinking to pull himself out of his sleepy state. His eyes light up when he meets my gaze. I am still blown away every time he looks at me like that. I'm glad that I can make him feel better but I'm not sure I deserve be looked at with such wonder and awe. I grin at him, hugging him tight before pushing him up out of my lap.

“We’ll be there any minute.” I tell him as I pull myself to my feet. I stretch and pull out my phone reading the text that Paul had sent to all of us.

With everyone mulling around and pulling shoes on I almost miss the words that slip out of Liam’s mouth. His voice is so soft I almost missed it. But he sits on the couch, picking at the laces on the ridiculous trainers on his feet.

“Thanks for making me feel better, Zaynie.” Liam says. He gives me a small smile. I extend my hand, pulling him up and into a hug when he takes it.

“I’ll always make you feel better, Leeyum.” I whisper in ear as he hugs me. “I like it when you are happy.”

By the time the last group of fans are being led out of the room, we are all ready to head to the hotel. Meet and Greets are amazing and exhausting at the same time.

“Did you see that little girl that had the outfit that looked just like mine!” Louis asks, grinning from ear to ear. As we climb into the SUV that will take us to the hotel.

“Yes, Lou, we all saw.” Liam says, shaking his head in amusement. He looks up at me with a big smile on his face even though anyone would think he was talking to everyone when he says, “Today was fun, innit?” It was nice to see a more relaxed Liam today. I enjoyed his playful banter today.

“Busy, yea, mate, but fun.” Niall agrees, already focused on his phone and the conversation with some girl most likely.

“Anyone up for a movie—” Liam begins but is cut off by Paul who is turning from the front seat and thrusting a cell phone into his hand.

“Liam, for you.” Paul says.

“Hello?” Liam says as he puts the phone to his ear. I watch as he winces and then I start to get angry as his face falls. I can only guess who is on the other end of that phone call.

“But that wasn’t my—” Liam starts to say but must be cut off because he trails off. “I didn't do that!” He adds a few seconds later. “But, Suzanne! That’s not fair!” This comes out in a much louder voice. Niall looks up from his phone and rolls his eyes.

“Yes. Fine. I understand.” Liam says, hanging up the phone and handing it back to Paul. The relaxed playful Liam is gone and it’s it’s place is the wound up, sad version of himself I had seen yesterday.

“What did she say?” Harry asks, looking over at Liam with a soft expression. A movement beside me pulls me out of my thoughts. It hurts to see Liam pinching his own arm. I'm am so thankful that I'm sitting next to him right now. I reach over and take his hand. The skin that had been trapped between his fingers snaps back into place on his other arm. He looks up at me, face clouded over with the barrage of thoughts going through his mind. He might still be lost in his head but a small tingle of warmth trickles through me as he laces his fingers in mine.

Our teamhas already checked us in and put our overnight bags in our rooms. Paul hands out the keys in the car, and lets us know the schedule for tomorrow. When we tumble out of the car at the hotel, I walk right beside Liam, my hand firmly planted in the small of his back. I could care less what Paul has to say at the moment. Leading the way, I guide Liam into the elevator. Harry presses the button for the eighteenth floor. I catch Louis’ eye as we ride up to our floor. I nod, assuring Louis that I have this under control. I chuckle, watching Louis tease Harry while pretending that his hands are not all over his boyfriend’s ass.

I can tell that whatever our handler had said to Liam is still being repeated over and over in his head. I have every intention of making sure that Liam won't be thinking about anything except for how good he feels when I get done with him. I know Liam. Liam needs his brain to stop torturing him with worries about things out of his control. I know I can help him relax. This morning had been a good indication of that.

“Night, Liam. Night, Zayn” Louis and Harry both say as they walk out of the elevator.

“Good night.” I say to all of them, leading Liam to my hotel room. “Go sit on the bed.” I say firmly into Liam’s ear as I open the door. I turn back to the hallway looking over to see Louis and Harry disappearing into their room. 

“Lou!” I call out, trying to catch Louis before he disappears into his and harry’s room. Louis looks up, walking toward me.

“What’s up?” Louis asks.

“Hey, can you grab Liam’s bag from his room and bring it into mine?” I ask, “I don't want to leave him alone after I get him calmed down.”

“Sure man, prop your door open. I’ll drop the bag inside and shut your door.” Louis says, taking Liam’s room key from his hand. “Give me two minutes.”

When I walk into the room, Liam is sitting on the edge of the bed staring out the window. The lights on the nearby buildings are sort of pretty, so high up and smack dab in the middle of downtown. I take a second to scan him from head to toe, relieved when I hear Liam’s duffle bag being plopped down on the floor before I hear the click of my door being pulled shut.

“Liam.” I say his name but he doesn't hear me. I didn't think he would. “Liam.” I repeat, walking over to where he’s sitting. I want to protect him from our team. They obviously have narrowed in on him as the easiest one of us to bully.

I gently take his chin in my hand, turning his face to look at me. I can see the storm behind his eyes. He stands up, brushing past me to walk to the middle of the room.

“Liam.” I repeat his name for the third time. He ignores me, his hands raking through his hair. He then runs his hands over his face before raking them through his hair again.

“Ugh! I hate it! I hate all the pressure and threats! I can't do this, Zayn! It’s too much.” Liam rants, his hands tugging at his hair. I take a step toward him as he continues, “I hate them for being so vile to us, to me! My mind races all the time worrying about everything. I feel like I'm going to be sick half the time because my stomach is always in knots.”

He’s worked himself up into a right state. I can see how upset he is and I know he just wants his overactive mind to calm down. I take another step toward him, the distance between us cut in half.

“Maybe I shouldn’t even be here. Maybe I'm the problem. Maybe you guys would be better off—”

“Don't you dare finish that sentence.” I say and point at him. The words escape my mouth in an icy tone and his voice trails off as his eyes fly up to meet mine. I grab his biceps glaring at him. “You, Liam James Payne, are a valuable member of this band. I will not stand for you disrespecting yourself and discounting how much we all value you. I will not hesitate to impose upon you the seriousness of this. You will not speak badly about yourself.”

Liam looks up at me a look of genuine shock on his face. I realize that with all the shit being spoon fed to him by our management right now he probably doesn't believe me. I release his arms, stepping back so that I can see him fully. I watch as he closes in on himself. I see the way his first instinct is to find something to ground him. Reaching one hand over to pinch the skin on his other arm. Either he doesn't think I see it happening or he doesn't even realize he’s doing it. I grab his wrists, trying to stop him from hurting himself. His eyes fly up to meet mine. He tries to jerk his hands from my grasp but I hold firm.

“I just need to feel better! Zayn, let me go.” Liam says, still trying to free his hands from my grasp.

“Do you really want me to let you go? Say yes right now and I will let go.” I clarify. I can tell he doesn't really want me to stop, but I have to make sure. I have to be certain that I'm not hurting him. He looks up at me and bites his lip. He shivers and I know he still has that tense feeling under his skin. I give him a few minutes to speak before I nod and continue, “Now, since part of this is letting you fight out the nervous energy we’re going to use a safe word, Liam. If at any point you want to stop for any reason I want you to say the word red. I will let go of you and give you some space. If you say red we will stop everything right then, okay, Li?” He nods at my words. I narrow my eyes slightly.

“I need a verbal answer, Liam. Tell me what the safe word is and what it means.”

“If I really want you stop I say red and you will.” Liam says, his voice hitched and barely above a whisper.

“Good boy.” I say softly, watching how he revels in my simple praise. I still have his wrists in my hands and I use that to my advantage. I back up, knowing I'm a few steps away from the couch. I take another step, stopping when the couch touches the back of my legs.

“Zayn” Liam says, but my name comes out heavy and broken. His voice is thick with pent up emotion and energy, as though its a fuse leading to a more volatile explosion.

“I'm going to make you feel better, Li. I promise.” I say softly, leaning forward and placing a kiss on his shoulder.

“Please—” The single word that slips from Liam’s lips tears at me as I watch him continue to unravel in front of me. “Please, Zayn, make me feel good like you did this morning. I just want everything to stop. I want my brain to be calm for once.”

I sit down in the center of the couch, pulling him down with me. He falls forward and I guide him to catch himself on his hands on the cushion beside me. Before he can stand back up, I grab his hips pulling him sideways until he’s laying on the couch face down, my body underneath his hips. He goes to put a leg back down on the floor and I swat his thigh. I smirk as he yelps and puts his leg back up on the couch. He then tries to push himself up with his hands and I place a hand on his upper back holding him down.

“Just lay down, Liam. Trust me.” I say. I watch as he lets out the breath he was holding as he stops trying to hold himself up and melts, face down, over my lap. He folds his arms in front of his head and I frown as I watch him start to scratch himself. I reach over, grabbing his bicep and pull the arm closest to me behind him. I trap his hand in the small of his back. I hear his breath hitch at this and smirk, glad his head is facing the other way. He gives a small tug, a gentle attempt to pull his hand out of mine.

“Let me go.” He spits out the words and I can't help the laugh that escapes.

“You have a safe word, Liam if you want that to happen. All you have to say is red and I will let you go.” I remind him. “Do you want to use your safe word?”

He shakes his head.

“Give me your other hand, Liam.” I say, wondering what he’s going to do. He starts to lift his arm but stops.

“No.” He says, huffing into the cushion. I smirk, thankful once more that he’s not looking at me right now. When he tries to pull the hand that I'm still holding behind his back out of my grasp I smack his bottom. I enjoy the gasp and the sound of sharp intake of breath that Liam sucks in. This begins a sequence of cause and effect that results in Liam trying but not really trying to get his arm out of my grasp and practically moaning every time I smack his ass when he does. He turns his face toward the back of the couch and I feel a wave of heat curl through me at the look on his face. His cheeks are red and flushed and his eyes are wide. After ten swats I repeat my request.

“Liam, give me your other hand.” I say.

“Are you going to stop if I do?” He asks, and I pause to try to infer whether he wants me to or not.

“Do you want me to stop spanking you?” I ask, watching as he bites his lip. His face is gorgeous where his cheek lays against the cushion of the couch. He shakes his head, closing his eyes in embarrassment. “It’s okay, Li. I told you I was going to make you feel better.”

I lean over, and run my hands through his hair. I pat his back a few times and give him a second to breathe. I can tell he’s fighting an internal battle. He wants this but doesn't think he should want it. I rub his shoulder, running my hands down his bicep, then his forearm, until i get to his wrist. I take my time, slowly wrapping my fingers around his wrist. I watch his face, his teeth pulling his bottom lip between them as I guide his hand behind his back. 


	7. Chapter 7 Liam

Chapter 7

Liam

When Zayn pulls me face down across his lap and won't let me back up my stomach erupts in butterflies. I'm starting to feel a bit calmer but I still feel my skin crawling. I can still hear her voice in my head. I try to scratch at my arms. I am not prepared for Zayn to pull one of my hands behind me to pin it down in the small of my back. I know we all work out, but he is way stronger than he looks. I test his hold on me and gasp when he spanks me. I can feel the heat curl inside of me. I feel crazy but I want more. I _need_ more. All I can think is _Please, don't stop_. By the time he gets to five, I'm too flustered to count. I am heated, flushed, and loving this feeling. I don't know why. My brain is almost in a panic trying to decide why I'm screwed up enough to actually like this—to want it and crave it. I'm tired of having to make decisions. I just want someone else to be in control—to take the pressure off. My mental chaos isinterrupted when his voice breaks into my thoughts.

“Liam, give me your other hand.” He says, his voice taking on a bossy tone. I spit out a retort before my brain can stop my mouth.

“Are you going to stop if I do?” I ask, holding my breath in a panic at the realization that I just practically admitted how much I was liking this.

“Do you want me to stop spanking you?” He asks and I can hear the smirk in his voice without even having to look at him. I shake my head, closing my eyes as I try to get a hold of myself. I can feel myself getting hard. I will die of embarrassment if I get off when he’s holding me down. I'm sure he’ll probably be disgusted with me if that happens. I force myself to breathe.

“It’s okay, Li. I told you I was going to make you feel better.” He says softly and I let out a deep breath. I almost let out a whimper when he leans over and starts rubbing the back of my head. I love the feeling of his hands in my hair. I am enjoying the feeling of his hands on me. He slides his hand down my arm and I shiver because it tickles. I gasp when he suddenly grabs my wrist, pulling it behind me and pinning it down with the other.

“Let me go.” I say even though I don’t mean it in the slightest. I don't want him to let go but I feel like I shouldn’t give in too easily. Zayn lets out a chuckle.

“Not happening, babe.” Zayn says. “I’ll let you go when you are calm and feeling good. I'm going to help your brain calm down. I will stop if you use your safe word.” 

I don't bother arguing with him but I do start wiggling in a vain attempt to pull my hands from his grasp. I'm not actually trying to get away. I actually really like this feeling of just letting go.

When Zayn spanks me again, I feel the sting but then I feel the heat spread and curl deep in my stomach. I feel myself hardening fully underneath him and I'm embarrassed. He doesn't say anything about it though, even though I know he can feel it pressing into his leg.

I don't count as the swats rain down on my ass. I continue pretending to fight his hold on me as he continues to spank me. Is it bad that I'm actually enjoying this? The heat builds until I can't take it anymore. I actually consider really asking him to stop when he does stop. It’s as if he can read my mind, knowing that I'm reaching my limit.

He lets go of my hands and lets them fall to my sides. I collapse over his lap, thoroughly exhausted. I feel his hands rubbing my back. I feel like my body is melting and I love it.

“You did so good, Li. So good for me.” Zayn’s voice breaks through my thoughts as he turns me over. Before I can get up off of his lap, he stands up, scooping me up into his arms. He takes four steps across the room and sets me down on the bed. I blink up at him. Zayn sits down on the edge of the bed, cupping my cheek with one hand.

I'm thrilled when he leans over and kisses me. Fireworks erupt inside of me. I melt into the kiss, letting him take control. I'm in no state to fight for control right now. I run my hands over his chest, silently cursing the tee shirt that is blocking the feel of his skin.

I feel Zayn messing with the hem of my tee shirt and then, he’s breaking the kiss, pulling the shirt over my head. I moan as he runs his hands over me, pushing me back onto the mattress. His hands rake over the bare skin of my chest. I gasp when he leans down and starts sucking on my collarbone. I arch up off of the bed when his teeth graze the newly formed bruise marking my skin.

“I like it.” Zayn says, smiling and looking at the love bite he just gave me. I cup his cheeks with my hands, pulling his face closer to mine until I can feel our lips press together. I let him kiss me, eager for whatever he’s willing to give me. He shifts, placing one knee in-between my legs as he hovers over me. I moan as he leans forward to kiss me again, his thigh rubbing against my dick, throbbing and hard.

“Zayn, please.” I manage to beg through my moans. I need him to touch me. I need him to keep kissing me. I just need him to make me feel good.

“I got you babe.” Zayn says, kissing my stomach above my belly button. Then he kisses a few inches lower, and then an inch lower until his breath tickles the skin right above the waistline of my jeans.

“Zayn.” I say his name, my voice thick and hoarse. I don't even know what I'm begging him for at this point. I just need relief. It feels like it’s been ages since I’ve had any relief from anything other than my own hand.

“Can I?” He asks, and I nod. He unbuttons my jeans and pulls them off of me. He palms me over my briefs and I almost cum right them. But then he’s kissing along the waistline of them and pulling them off of me too.

The idea that I willingly am handing over control of everything to him but he still asks before doing something new, makes me love him even more. Wait, love? I love Zayn? Am I in love with Zayn? Is it too soon to be thinking about stuff like this? I care about him so much, more than anyone else in my life besides my family. He’s my best friend and he knows me better than anyone else. I guess I do— My thoughts are interrupted as I feel his fingers close around my throbbing cock.

A rush of pleasure surges through my body. I have no coherent thoughts as he works me right to the edge of orgasm. I fist the blankets underneath of me, not sure where else to put my hands. I open my eyes, meeting Zayn’s gaze and the way he is looking at me takes my breath away. The look of adoration in his eyes is obviously for me, but it is almost too much, too heavy. I don't deserve it.

“Oh, Liam, you don't know how amazing you look right now.” Zayn says, leaning down to kiss me. When his lips meet mine, he twists his hand slightly and I can't hold it in anymore.

“I need to cum, Zayn? Please?” I whine desperate for release. I don't know what on earth possesses me to make sure it’s okay, but Zayn doesn’t seem to mind. He pulls back and smiles brightly like I did something to make him happy.

“Cum for me, babe.” He says, twisting his hand again. I do. He continues stroking me until the last ribbons of my release have trickled out. I close my eyes, exhausted and happy. I feel him get up but I don't have the energy to open my eyes. He comes back with a wet cloth and wipes off my body.

“Zayn,” I mumble, curling into his side as he lays down beside me. “I need to make you feel good too.” I lay my head on his chest as his arms pull me close to him.

“You do, Li. You make me feel good all the time, babe.” Zayn says, kissing my forehead. I peel my eyes open and try to fight back a yawn as I try to argue with him.

“But you— well, you made me feel good, I need to…for you.”I stammer, my cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

“Right now, I just want to hold you. You can do something for me next time, okay, babe?” Zayn says, running a hand through my hair causing my eyes to drift shut.

“Mmm, next time.” I say a goofy smile finding it’s way onto my face. I melt into him. “Gonna fall asleep.”

“Do you feel better?” He asks, still playing with my hair.

“Mmhmm.” I nod slightly, “You always make me feel better, Zaynie. Thank you.”

“Anytime, babe. Anything for you. Go to sleep.” He whispers. He begins to sing softly and I feel myself drifting off to sleep, my brain quiet and peaceful and my body pliant and relaxed. 


End file.
